We all need a little levity once in a while

[Safety Officer]

An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels.

 

After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender,

Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?'

 

The bar immediately falls absolutely silent.

 

In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair, Given that you are blind, that you should know five things:

1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.

2. The bouncer is a blonde girl.

3. I'm a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.

4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter.

5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.

 

Now, think about it seriously, Cowboy. Do you still wanna tell that blonde joke? The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters,

 

No, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times.

[Jacques]

Two businessmen in Florida were sitting down for a break in their soon-to-be new store. As yet, the store wasn't ready, with only a few shelves set up.

 

One said to the other, "I bet any minute now some senior is going to walk by, put his face to the window, and ask what we're selling."

 

No sooner were the words out of his mouth when sure enough, a curious senior walked to the window, had a peek, and in a soft voice asked, "What are you sellin' here ?"

 

One of the men replied sarcastically, "We're selling ass-holes."

 

Without skipping a beat, the old timer said, "Must be doing well... only two left."

 

Seniors -- don't mess with them!

[Jim Meade]

I can see the joke section derated to non-family in only two posts. See you later.

[N89WD]

Both funny as hell jokes! I stole them both, thanks for the laughs.